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thinking too much - thoughts of a lurker
demonlurking
demonlurking
thinking too much


so, sk4p made some really intense and really cool posts about 9-11. i'll admit, i was asleep for most of it. i work the night shift and don't usually check news when i get home from work at 9am. this may be one of my great failings, but because of it, i didn't know anything until i woke up around 4. there were several semi-distraught messages from my mother on the answering machine, and my housemates asking if i'd heard the news. so i checked the news. i guess it was one of my first clues that i wasn't quote connected to my emotions. maybe it was because it was already all over and pretty much just in cleanup stages at that point. even the news was being less emotional and simply giving overviews of the day. maybe it's because i got it all at once instead of each piece affecting me. i don't know. but it didn't hurt, it didn't shock, it didn't anger. i looked at what had happened and thought to myself:

"yeah, we had it coming. we've been pissing off the rest of the world for decades. why didn't anyone else see this coming? why is everybody so shocked that it happened?"

i dunno if that makes me a bad person or not, but i sometimes feel guilty that that was my only thought. it wasn't until several days later that the affect on people's lives caused me to think about it in other terms. *shrug*

oh, btw, happy late birthday to owldragon. sorry it's late.


i feel: contemplative contemplative

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