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work is work - thoughts of a lurker
demonlurking
demonlurking
work is work


so, as promised, here is a piece of my poetry. it's a bit depressing, and this one is from my freshman year of college, it's not the best and it doesn't explain anything about me anymore, but it exists and, if anyone is interested, here it is:





life stands still
by lurker

as the world rolls on my life stands still and I see Her life move on into higher realms of knowledge if I fall down would anyone stop and pick me up will anyone stoop so low to pull me out out of the pits of despair and depression is there anyone who will save me who will save my soul for my love goes out to one who gives none in return why do I do this to myself when She does not notice must I die to be feared for must I go to the extreme for anyone to notice is it truly my lot to suffer beyond most men's comprehension or do I search for ones who will make my life a misery and do we all go to the same lengths to get the things we want or need do we all see the end when we reach it or do we just fall off when we get there whether we see it or not is the end so close now that I cannot see it will She even notice that I am gone will anyone stop me if I tried for one day I will try and if I do will there be anyone who will help or who will care to stop me will no one build my ego up to the point where I would not want to die walk to the mirror put the gun to my head look me in the eye pull the trigger end my life end the suffering end the pain end the anger end the hate

end the joy end the love would I do this would anybody care would anybody notice what would they do what would they say perhaps someone would pull me up out of the pits of death and desire will I survive will I go on will my soul have a future will my love for Her end my life or will my love bring me happiness maybe one day maybe someday this heartache will end one way or another my heart dies in pain my heart will live on in Her pain and I will be vindicated for the pain inflicted by Her upon my heart and one day I will be whole I shall be one and this heartache will end

copyright 1995



i feel: anxious anxious
i hear: U2 - Joshua Tree

4 thingies / say something
Comments
wanderingpixie From: wanderingpixie Date: February 4th, 2002 07:42 am (UTC) (bookmark)

as always

one of these days you'll write something happy...
or maybe just sad.

*hugs*
demonlurking From: demonlurking Date: February 4th, 2002 02:06 pm (UTC) (bookmark)

Re: as always

yeah, someday. but i figured i'd start by reposting my old stuff.
*shrug*
it's all still available off my website, but this is a little more public and not nearly as obscure. =)
mikoy From: mikoy Date: February 4th, 2002 10:10 am (UTC) (bookmark)

I Am Alone

scratch scratch scratch

I am utterly alone.

I'm sorry, Jess, it's a nice poem, I'm just in that kind of mood.

(Well, OK, not a nice poem, but a good poem. You know what I mean.)
demonlurking From: demonlurking Date: February 4th, 2002 08:25 pm (UTC) (bookmark)

Re: I Am Alone

heh, take a look at tonight's installment.
i think it might fit your mood better. =)

btw, i hope your mood gets better soon.
4 thingies / say something